To sleep with your ex or not
I spent a lot of time and energy digging deep and clearing beliefs that no longer served me. I got to an amazing place. I was full of gratitude and appreciation for what I had around me and that became my focus. I chose not to stay in an angry place, feeling bitter for what I lost or had been through. I knew I would never have gotten where I was if I hadn’t gone through those experiences. The real me began to emerge.
Don’t get me wrong. It was extreme and downright hard, heavy stuff, but I took solace in trusting I was exactly where I needed to be.
On my vision board, I have a beautiful affirmation I look at all the time. The universe now reveals, unfolds and manifests the divine plan of my life.
Because my ex could see my transformation, he became more attracted to this “new version”, which I knew was really who I was at the core. The flirty text messages started and the constant hints he would like to get intimate. I was buzzing and just went along for the fun.
We eventually did get together a few times over a period of a couple of months, but I had strict guidelines about what this meant. I hear some of you saying, “How could you after what he did?” And others saying, “Yeah, I’ve been there too.”
The biggest thing that helped me moved forward was to reframe my past. I had a spiritual reading a while back and the lady said all my ex wanted from me was to be taken care of and loved. It made perfect sense in that moment. Of course he did.
I had so much going on in my life at the time, I was emotionally unavailable to give him what he wanted to the degree he needed. I barely had enough energy to get through the day myself. My tank was empty. Unfortunately, I ended up with someone who thought that as a mother I should put myself last. And for three and half years, I did.
I took that new thought and that became my new memory of the past. Because I was thinking more from a loving place, I could show that love to my ex, and that became a game-changer for us. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying sleep with your ex and all will be fixed. It won’t and there are times I regret going there, but what’s done is done.
At the time, (before his new girlfriend arrived) it was a healing time for both of us. I was able to forgive him and myself for what we had experienced together. I wanted him to see who I was and to know there is a much softer side to me. I didn’t want him to have the memory of me just being a bitch.