Friends and family
You can’t choose your family, but you can sure as hell choose your friends!
Last week while my kids enjoyed their music class I was chatting with a friend about the rough couple of weeks I just had prior. I felt as though I was a rubber band that had come so far only to be let go of and flung right back to year ago.
There had been a series of really unpleasant interactions between my ex and I which resulted in me feeling completely powerless and bullied all over again. He told me to enjoy the last of my weekends as he was planning to move interstate and that he was flying there that weekend for an interview. When I asked about the kids and who was taking care of them he told me I was having them knowing full well I had plans already.
You think I would have learnt my lesson after three years of this bullshit, the lies, the intimidation and scare mongering, but no he’s a master narcissist and knows exactly what my trigger points are, argh more healing for me.
In the end I remembered what I had written last week about establishing really good boundaries for yourself and took back my power and decided not to engaged any further. I was inundated with text messages, but refused to play this destructive game all over again. As soon as I did that the power struggle stopped.
I’m really conscious of what I tell people, but I am getting better at sharing the painful the good, the bad and the ugly. When the conversation ended my friend she didn’t say a whole lot. I get it’s hard for people to empathize if they have never experienced something like this themselves. This is why I share my truth with you, because you get it.
Later that night I got a text message from the same friend and this is what she wrote “I was thinking about what you said today and I wanted to say that I think you are an amazing, strong women. You are handling this shitty situation with such grace, maturity and composure. I can’t believe the things that he says to you and I am sure you don’t tell me the half of it. You will be an asset to helping other women get through this and motivating them to rise above this situation and come out on top. Your kids are so very lucky to have you. I’m sure if you weren’t handling this the way you are, they would not be doing as well as they are. And I want you to know that if you ever want to drop the kids to me I would be very happy to have them so you can have a break. I can’t imagine being on call 24/7. Please take me up on the offer sometime. My girls love your kids!
My own family has never said such a thing like that this entire time! God bless some people.