Falling-in-love with being alone this Valentine’s Day
No one ever said that in order to be happy you need a man in your life. Sure, companionship is important, but it’s more important to have a good relationship with yourself first, particularly after a bad breakup or divorce.
Rather than lamenting over what you have lost or getting caught up in the commercial hype of Valentine’s Day, why not do something novel this year, such as learning to love yourself more.
Here are eight practical ways you can start honouring the true essence of who you are.
- Turn a blind eye to social media – do yourself a favour and stay away from it. Hear this, no one’s going to post anything bad about their Valentine’s Day, so resist the urge to get drawn into the hype. It’s not going to serve you to see how the other half live!
- Embrace where you’re at – stop comparing your life to others. Let go of the judgements, self-ridicule and wishing you were somewhere else in your life. No one has walked your path and nor you in theirs, so honour yourself by respecting where you are. Sure, it might not be where you want to be, but I assure you, you’re in the perfect place for now.
- Write a card to yourself – there’s no better way to improve your self-worth than to tell yourself that you are loved. Write a card to your future self about where you hope to be in a years time. Include a few things that you most admire about yourself too. Sign it off with love and put the card away and be sure to read it in a years time.
- Reframe your experience – the grass is not always greener. Regardless of why you have found yourself alone, don’t assume that others are much happier than you because they have someone in their lives. Too many people are afraid to leave what they have because they fear the unknown. Face the unknown, one day at a time with courage and strength. Decide to focus on how empowered you feel to make your own choices and decisions in life. Recognise the freedom you have in that choice. Be open to life unfolding in new ways. Embrace new experiences. Realise that this is just a moment in time. Use the opportunity to build resilience and self-reliance. Take the time to heal from the past and access the stillness that you might otherwise avoid.
- Reward yourself – just because you’re alone on the day, it doesn’t mean you can’t do something nice for yourself. You know what you like. You know what you need, so permission to go do it. A little self-indulgence never hurt anyone. Let go of the guilt and give something back to yourself. Here are some ideas – soak in a beautiful bath, cook or order a beautiful meal, have a massage, walk along the beach, light a scented candle, lie on the couch and do nothing. Take a trip to the hairdressers.
- Bring in the reinforcements – get on the front foot and arrange a nice get-together with your sisterhood. That way you will have a positive, familiar bunch of people around you if you’re feeling a bit melancholic.
- A gift of compassion – when you’re feeling down, shift your focus by sparing a thought for others that are hurting too. You might want to consider reaching out to one of those people and give them a gift of your compassion. Whether it be a phone call or a catch-up, just listening to someone may be enough for them to feel loved, considered and cared for. Not to mention the reward that’s in it for you.
- The non-negotiable – take this opportunity to decide what you want from love next time it comes around. Learn from the past and feel comfortable being a little more selective with the next person who takes your interest. Get crystal clear on the things you aren’t willing to compromise on and the things that you’re willing to overlook if the right things are there.
You’re responsible for your wellbeing, so do whatever rocks your world this Valentine’s Day.